You know when you've had a really bad day and you kind of just shout to the world "what else can go wrong today? what else are you going to throw at me?" Then maybe you would feel like sticking both your middle fingers out to everyone that passes by. Well that was me today and thats still me right now.
Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. My wonderful day started at 3 am and not even an hour later I almost get into a pretty bad car accident on my way to work. Then there was work and my boss asked me to stay later than I had planned. Which ends up ruining my plans for later on in the day. I couldn't get my oil changed because every mechanic in the town that I live in is booked, which pissed me off. I then almost got into another car accident and this time the person who almost hits me yells at me "do you have a problem?!" It wasn't even my fault jackass, it was yours.
Then I get a text from someone who I have been avoiding pretty much all month. I do not like this person because I always feel empty when I'm around them. I tend do these things to myself though. I hang out with the wrong type of person who makes me feel empty at the end of the day but hey. It's kind of what I'm used to. I've done some pretty stupid stuff these past few months that left me feeling empty and I'm sick and tired of falling into this trap again and again.
I end up having to cancel my plans with another person who I actually wanted to hang out with because I was just laying in bed crying my make up off.
I became another heart breaker for the millionth time. This seems like its all I ever do. I think thats why karma has bitten me many times.
I became another heart breaker for the millionth time. This seems like its all I ever do. I think thats why karma has bitten me many times.
My best friend left for school this morning (she goes to school in Indiana) and my other best friend has some issues at her apartment. My sister is at work. And I said something horrible to my mom today and I wish I could take it back, so we really aren't talking. I need someone to vent to, so I'm writing this down, here, for random people around the world to read. All in all, I'm just feeling pretty lonely today and not myself. I'm not one to be sad and talk about how sucky my life is because I hate that kind of attention. But I have to let this out somehow.
I know that tomorrow may be a little better. I know that these next few weeks will be the beginning of a new season in my life. I know that things will look up eventually. We all have bad days, but today just seems to be one of the worst.
I just need to apologize to my mother, cry a little more, become a little stronger, cuddle up in my bed, and hope and pray that this weekend will turn out better.
Thanks for reading this…if you are. At least I got to vent to someone. I promise I'm not always this emo. Love you.
1. Meeting new people and hopefully making new friends
2. Creating more. Because I am taking only art classes this semester
3. Gaining confidence when it comes to my creativity
4. Working out again!! I guess you could say that this summer I took a big fat break from that
5. Merriment, The Honey Trees, & Sucre show. Kimmy my dear, we have like 2 weeks left!!!!!
6. Working less hours. yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
7. Maybe finding a new job?
8. Meeting with a special someone in the next few weeks. I don't know if I'm nervous or excited…or its probably a mixture of both :)
9. For the millionth (and hopefully last time) changing my major. dun dun dun
10. Hopefully getting cooler weather sooner than later. Please Houston, cool down to at least 80.
OHH YEAH, and how could I forget?!
11. Taylor Swifts new album! I don't think I have ever related to a song more than her new single. I dance to it at least once a day. "heartbreakers gonna break break break break break" ugh Taylor, you are my soul sister.
My Cat Is Sleeping Next To Me Right Now & This Title Is Irrelevant To This Post
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
I visited the James Turrell Skyspace (um thing?). It was beautiful! Absolutely stunning. I think us Houstonians can agree that anything created by James Turrell is breathtaking. If you don't know who that artist is google him. Anyways as the sun sets the lights in this room change. You're just staring up into sky watching and wondering and imagining and man it truly was something. If you want to learn more about it just click this link.
This summer I had gotten the chance to meet lots of people in person that I had met online. It's kind of weird to learn about someone online or through an app and then boom, you're sitting in front of them in real life. Well instagram brought yet another friendship into my already wonderful group of people that I know. I always love meeting new people and it is especially fun when you click with them right off the bat. Thank you instagram for yet another real friend to hold onto.
It got me feeling in a weird funk, basically a feeling that I do not like to have. But you know, I grew and matured SO much! I am definitely a different person than I was during the beginning of May.
I love all of the people that I met and especially those people that left. Yes, even those people that left. Well maybe not all of them. There is one in particular who I hope to never see again in my life. I pretty much want to gag at the thought of them.
Anyways, I've been going through weird feelings but ya know, those feelings will come and go and man, all you can do is just
hold your head up high
smile
look forward to the future
and carry on
♥
