I let go of something last night.
Not that it was a bad thing, because it wasn't.
Not that it was a good thing, because it wasn't.
It is just not a part of who I am. I can try to be like that, but my heart is far too large and far too loving.
But I am so proud of myself. I'm proud that I asked and I'm proud that I didn't chicken out.
I'm proud of not letting myself believe that it was no big deal.
Yes the feelings will linger for a while but will eventually fade into the forgotten corners of my memory.
And when I look back upon the memories of those sweet nights, the same smile that I said goodbye with will come across my face and I will remember every bit of kindness that was in you.
None of those thoughts would be tampered with. You would remain the same.
Here's a bit of the truth. I'm shy, nervous, and not so confident when it comes to showing off my creative ability. One of my biggest fears is having people judge me. That's apart of the reason why I never started selling those cell phone cases, or why I never post pictures of my artwork. I keep those things locked up for my eyes only. Sometimes I even stop myself from posting pictures on instagram because I'm too afraid of the negative judgement. I have never had someone flat out tell me that they don't like what I do or hate my pictures, but I'm always just afraid of them thinking that.
But since I'm taking a crap ton of art classes this semester I am beginning to learn something; everyone pretty much has those thoughts. Even people who are amazing at what they do. I'm meeting artists left and right on a daily basis and I can sense the nervousness in them as well. I'm guessing that its normal to feel this way and in order for me to get over this little problem that I have, I need to show off my stuff. I need to grow a thick skin and try to handle the criticism with ease.
So this is me, telling myself, that I need to ignore those little negative thoughts that pop up and just stay confident. Because yes, #hatersgonnahate, but if I love the outcome of what I created then that's all that should really matter.
It's no secret that whenever the Dupree's are heading to Houston I always make a way to see them. This time Merriment & Sucre were performing at Fitzgerald and, of course, they were both exceptional. I also got to have a small awkward conversation with Christie Dupree. I probably seemed like a goob when I was speaking to her because I was so nervous. But she is one of the sweetest humans to roam this planet, so I'm sure it was okay haha.
I'm so glad that I got my friends Kimmy & Kat to become obsessed with them as well. They are the best show buddies…actually the best buddies period. I sure do have some of the greatest people in my life currently.
"Surround yourself with people that nourish your soul"