Today marks the first time I will be feeling this bittersweet moment.
This exact feeling will repeat itself many times within this year.
I'm not sure I'm ready for it.
Yellow flowers blooming during the first weeks of spring. Especially the yellow honeysuckles that you had planted on our porch three months before cancer took your life. Every time I walk by and smell that sweet scent, memories of you rush through and I can't help but feel your love.
Choosing my classes for the new term and seeing that I've passed all of those classes.
My birthday. My birthday week. My birthday month. Yes, I'm one of those girls.
Making Anthony laugh, because he is the funniest person that I know and if I'm able to make him laugh then I feel slightly accomplished for the day.
Meeting a fellow cat lover.
Making Amber laugh, because each new bout of laughter adds on to the already 10+ years of friendship that we have planted.
Hearing that sentence during the beautiful moment.
Knowing that I am currently a public relations intern at one of the largest art museums in America.
Making Elyse laugh because when she smiles it is the sweetest thing and I know that through her transition right now she is needing this laughter.
Watching wedding proposals on YouTube. I not only smile but I cry, and I hope for that one day.
Looking through Kinsey's photos.
Making Kimmy laugh, because when she laughs her eyes squint until they disappear between her black rimed glasses and its the cutest thing ever.
Making Michelle laugh, because when she laughs I know that I'm laughing right there with her. Our foul language, hateful cat jokes and our forever inside jokes that we've built along the years, will forever remain with me.
Hearing someone call me beautiful.
Making Carol laugh, because remember Korea and every time our plans were screwed up we would always say in our thick texan accent, "dang it korea, not again korea". Remember when we were in middle school and I made you give that guy at church my number and you were pissed off because I forced you do my dirty work? Remember when we were children at el tab...so many wonderful embarrassing memories.
Finding that my cat is waiting for me when I get home from a long day.
That moment when I see that my period has ended for the month.
Looking at the homeless faces when I give them free coffee and a free pastry.
English breakfast tea with a splash of milk.
Espresso that is dialed in correctly.
Knowing that in a few months, whether it be 10 months from now or 15 months from now, I will finally be graduating.
My savings account.
