hi again

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

I don't know what to say other than, I'm going to give this a try again. I gave up this blog for a while because it housed some intense memories. I figured I would start over again, so I created a new blog on an entirely different platform. I quickly realized that I hated that platform. It made it too hard for me to customize things in the way that I wanted. So that in itself made me want to stop blogging. I decided to start this one over again. Although this site does still have those posts that absolutely break me, I will still keep them on here because those pieces of writings were a part of my history. I need to be reminded of my past instead of trying to hide from it. 

So lets give this a try....again....

What have I been up to? Honestly this years has pretty much been c o m p l e t e  s h i t . Seriously. This year has been one of the worst that I have ever encountered. It has been almost as bad as the year that my dad was diagnosed with cancer and passed away. That was the worst year of my life, this is the second worst year. I feel as though I have been kicked around, severely punched and bruised all throughout these days. The cherry on top was when my job laid me off. Completely random and out of the blue I was called into the office and told that there would be no work for me during the holiday season. Seriously? Thankfully I have kept my part-time barista job around just in case something like this would happen. I will soon transition into a full-time barista, full-time customer service employee, full-time "is this why I went to college? Is this why I got this degree?" This whole year I have been feeling completely worthless. Failed relationships, failed job searches, failed jobs. 2017 seems to have put up a brick wall the size of The Great Wall of China. I honestly cannot wait for this year to be over with. That is another reason why I gave up blogging, it was because my life has been uninspiring. Why would I want to share that with the internet? I'm sorry if you've read my bickering this far. I want to start blogging again because I remembered how it would help me find the beauty in every day life. That is what I have been missing. I need this safe space to share my feelings with whoever will read.

So welcome back. I won't promise that I'll stick around forever, I won't promise that every post will be happy and inspiring, but I will promise that I am going to be real throughout this.